Carrie McBride
 A few months ago my husband and I took a trip to Honduras and celebrated our one year wedding anniversary at a nice hotel. I woke up early the first morning with a gnawing feeling in my stomach. I couldn’t figure out what was bothering me. And then it hit me: it was guilt. I was thinking of the money we had spent on the hotel room. And I was thinking of the families I see everyday at the project. Families that make on average $100 a month. Who was I to be able to stay at a nice hotel and eat such rich food? Who was I to lounge by the pool and relax with a book? Who was I to be able to enjoy these luxuries? Some might say, “Well, you’ve worked hard to get where you are. You went to college and got a job and worked hard and saved money. You deserve to do those things; you deserve to treat yourself once in a while.” But is that really true? Do I really deserve these things? And while I’d like to let myself off the hook and say “yes this is fair”, it isn’t. Why should I be more deserving than the man who goes up the mountain every day to plant corn and beans? Or the woman who has to get up at four in the morning to start washing clothes by hand for eight people in the family, and then get home in time to cook over a fire for those eight people on less than three dollars a day? They should be the ones who are going on vacation and enjoying luxury, but they aren’t.
My early morning stomach gnawing helped me come to a realization. I realized that I have a responsibility to help improve the lives of others. I don’t deserve the wealth I have. And because I don’t deserve it, I need to be especially mindful of how I use it, and be sure that it is used in such a way to benefit others who have not had the opportunities that I have had. It’s not about being generous, but about being responsible.
We’ll be moving home to Michigan soon and my biggest concern, apart from facing winters again, is that I won’t have these eye opening experiences that put things into perspective. I’m afraid the comforts and luxuries of home will become commonplace and lull me into a state of apathy and passivity. I’m afraid I’ll feel okay with my wealth, or even worse, I’ll feel like I don’t have enough. Being a long term volunteer at Common Hope these past two years has taught me many things, but perhaps the most important lesson I have learned is about taking an active role in improving the lives of others.
Carrie McBride has been with Common Hope at our Antigua site since 2004. After a year as a Communications associate, Carrie became the manager of our Hospitality department responding to the needs of all the volunteers who visit New Hope and the Family Development Center. Prior to working with us, Carrie was a nurse in her home state of Michigan.
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